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Nobody likes EVs more than me, so why am I starting to dislike more and more upcoming EVs? Bloat, baby…bloat.

michael banovsky

Oct 13, 2022 — 5 min read

We’re back to strapping people into shrink-wrapped machines, and for all of Alpine’s future-first press release verbiage, all I could think about was the 1956 Renault Étoile Filante—“Shooting Star”—a gas turbine-powered land speed record car from yesteryear…

1956 Renault Étoile Filante • via Renault

Ah, 1956.

At that time, Alpine itself was only a year old and must have been small fries to executives within the mighty Renault group. Armed with a French Turbomeca “Turmo” helicopter turbine, a few barrels of kerosene, and svelte bodywork, Renault managed to capture a real Land Speed Record at the Bonneville salt flats in Utah.

Sixty-six years on and now a division within Renault, Alpine is touting the hydrogen-powered, single seat Alpenglow concept as the future of the Alpine marque. ‘Alpenglow’, by the way, is a word for an optical phenomenon that occurs just before sunrise or just after sunset. Especially in mountainous regions covered in reflective material (snow), this indirect sunlight can create a reddish glow in the sky—alpenglow.

Recycled carbon fibre, and a hydrogen internal combustion engine—the approach also favoured by Toyota and BMW—are about all I could glean from the press release. Alpine does say that Alpenglow shows the way for future models:

“Its next generation of models – its Dream Garage – will comprise three exclusive and trailblazing all-electric models: a compact sports car (B segment), a GT crossover (C segment) and an A110 replacement. The driving experience in them all revolves around the driver, driving sensations and sheer pleasure.

Alpenglow’s light signature is one of the design hallmarks that will inspire the brand’s models – at the front as well as the rear. Alpine cars will also come with an intuitive sports car steering wheel inspired by Alpenglow. The ergonomic features will be exclusive to Alpine models. Carbon, including recycled carbon, will also be built into the upcoming cars so that they are as proudly lightweight as every Alpine before them.”

The Alpenglow debuts at the Paris Motor Show and will be shown from October 17 to 23—next week, I’ll be sure to feature some photos of the car irl to give you a better look at this concept.

ALPINE’S FUTURE STARTS WITH ALPENGLOW • Alpine Cars

I hate to be THAT GUY and comment on the incredible featurization of vehicles—the upcoming Polestar 3 performance electric SUV will slice, dice, ’n’ outperform an equivalent ICE all. day. long. To be initially produced in China, then built at Volvo’s factory in North Carolina as I previously reported, pricing will start at €89,900.

For someone like me, the Polestar 3 is quite appealing but will forever lie outside of my income bracket. You’ll have to trust that even with a small fortune to my name, I’d be just as appalled that one Polestar 3 weighs about as much as a Volvo XC90 plus a Mazda MX-5.

Like for like, spec sheet says it weighs more than a Cadillac Lyriq.

Logically, then, even with a laundry list of Google software-enabled features, high-resolution driver assistance packages, vehicle-to-grid capability, and the ability to tow, how is this 5-seat vehicle all that appealing?

I thought that Polestar had been capitalizing on a minimalist design ethos, and I am disappointed the 3 has been laden with tech more likely to appeal in showrooms and spec sheets than in real-world use. Jack of all, master of none—owners will literally be paying for this lack of engineering efficiency until the car is scrapped.

“Materials used inside Polestar 3 have been selected for their sustainability credentials, while raising premium aesthetics and luxury tactility. These include bio-attributed MicroTech, animal welfare-certified leather and fully traceable wool upholsteries. In line with Polestar’s commitment to transparency, a complete life-cycle assessment (LCA) will be completed on Polestar 3 when production begins. Subsequent assessments will follow through its life cycle and work will continue to constantly find ways of reducing its carbon footprint.”

Credit where it’s due: I think these assessments should be made mandatory (and public) for all new vehicles sold.

It’s just a shame that with all the raw materials used, every Polestar 3 begins life as a ~2,600 kg EVelephant.